.: culture : mash :.

My ex boyfriend from ages ago taught me an interesting word and concept that I still use to this day. The word “bronzilla”. This word is meant to describe anyone (usually women though) who are addicted to tanning and turn a deep shade of orange. You know the kind. They sometimes have peroxide snowy blond hay hair and fake breasts that you can see standing up a mile away. This is usually known as the Californian variety.

The other day though, I came across a new breed. The Jersey Boy Bronzilla.

Now, I can understand wanting to be a dark, coco-buttered mocha love machine, I mean… I am one naturally. But, I’m not sure if these guys abide by the indigenous rules of skin color that well.

… because, yes, that’s right … I’m part Russian. Well, more specifcally, my mother’s side of the family hails from Azerbaijan, a part of Iran that borders Russia in a way which I’m sure has been switched back and forth for centuries. So it’s sorta like Irussian… or something. Also, I think my mom loves explaining this as the main reason why she’s still blond, showing how we’re not all dirty brown sand people from the desert.

Recently I’ve been trying to learn a little Russian. Since the boyfriend has been polishing his understanding of the language for work purposes and such, we figured we both needed a mutual language we could use publicly for secret talk and mischief. I’ve been a little lazy on my part, I won’t lie. There’s only so much I can take of walking Oliver and ranting out terrible renditions of Russian cheesy greetings on the streets of Santa Monica with the homeless staring at me like I’m the crazy one. But hey, it only gives me even more right to tease the culture.

I give you a series of photographs , aptly titled “Only in Russia”.

Scheduled to be there in late March for a work trip, and I will be attending TAF 2008. Yes, that’s right , the Tokyo Animation Fair. I’m not really sure what to expect, but I know I gotta do a few things that are really important.

1) Learn to eat raw fish. Yes, I know I’m one of like 3 assholes who doesn’t do it yet, but I can’t help but not love the texture. I gotta learn FAST how to enjoy this.

2) Do some research with some serious anime nerds about how I can seem like one of them. I mean, I’ve seen Trekkies like a zillion times, but I’m not sure that knowledge really converts to anime. Man, that’s so ignorant. It’s like calling a Korean Japanese. ….

3) Make sure I know what Japanese people really look like.

4) Attempt to re-kindle that Japanese I took like 6 years ago in undergrad. Yeah, the one where I was more interested in understanding the Tekken Game character names than the courtesy greetings.

5) Familiarize myself with Japanese culture and business etiquette. I found this video from Honda which I really explains a lot.

[youtube ASoCJTYgYB0]

The rain sucks, let’s admit it. Everyone in LA is allergic to it. We can neither drive or go outside without making wincey faces when droplets bounce off our normally perfectly moisturized and made-up faces. But besides turning my hair into an afro puff indicative of my old 90s look (way back before flat irons became both useful, and affordable finally) the rains makes me a food eating fat monster. So much so that on a friggin’ Wednesday night, I decided to make fatty , cheesy, buttery, scalloped potatoes… to be eaten ALONE.

Besides that, the rain has made my work week a little depressing. As some of you know , my office sort of has a kick ass view. But when this kick ass view depicts apocalyptic clouds and massive amounts of moisture being dropped from the grey skies into the dismal sea below… I sorta get bummed out a la Neverending Story and the Nothing style.

Oh, and by the way, the rain makes Oliver bummed too. But that’s cuz I force him to wear a raincoat.

Hey but here’s something to cheer me up. At least I don’t live in Mexico City.

The other day my friend and fellow blogger Agent Lover sent me this interesting article about buses in Mexico city. And after I read it, I realized it’s great that the guys in the states are so paralyzingly shy to even look at you on a bus, let alone grope you. they’d never need to separate our sexes. And in the end, really, we as Americans are doing good for our environment, thus limiting our fossil fuels usage since instead of wastleful same sex buses, we’re driving around in individual Ford Explorers and Toyota 4-Runners.

Ok , seriously, why do the Koreans only get to have the fun ?

I’m tired of all the cool shit being sold exclusively in Asia. You know, we got kids at age 11 wanting an extended summer job at a factory too.

Oh, and this weekend, I broke my own “can’t enjoy anything vegan” rule by dining with Henrik at Real Food Daily by my place in Santa Monica.

And seriously Henrik, how can you call yourself Swedish and not enjoy ANYTHING dairy? Weirdo.

I’m starting to consider running Coke in my engine. I figure, it might as well stay awake if I’m going to have it burn so many calories.

Country of origin: Australia 

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. (Benjamin Disraeli)

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. (Fletcher Knebel)

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions. (Evan Escar)

Continue reading ‘funny numbers’

One of my pet peeves about traveling is hearing about how someone went to visit where I live and came out with a shocking experience of either ignorance, naiveté, or lack of sense of culture in some way. Now the thing is that I can of course make jokes and criticize these things myself. After all, I’m an American (according to my Naturalization Certificate and everything). But I can’t stand it when other people make comments based off of a very narrow experience barely accruing enough evidence through an inappropriately wide enough sample size.

I came across the Paulitic’s Canadian blog the other day. And while I think for the most part, these experiences are humorously described, and normally I’d laugh along with him (since again, I’m allowed to America-bash), I might say I was a caught defensive.

Oh, and by the way, I’m also allowed to Canadian bash. I work for a Canadian company, dated a Canadian, and been to Canada many times. Hence, I obviously have Canadian rights.

This reminds me of being in college and meeting people while abroad who had done exchange programs in the states. I’d tell them I’m American (there’d be a moment of doubt due to my tan) and then they’d tell me in a very proud way that they didn’t enjoy their time.

It always went something like this:

So you were abroad in high school?

Yes, for about one year.

Oh how fun. I sometimes wish my French exchange was longer like that. How did you find your host family?

They were very nice, but I was quite bored with the city. Everything is so large in America! And it took a long time to get anywhere.

Yeah, well, we need some portion control. So you lived in a large city?

Yes, a place in Idaho. <Enter random suburb name>

If I were to judge all of Europe from one experience just outside of Cork, Ireland … I’d shoot myself. They do realize we’re friggin huge, right? That’s the one thing I think foreigners have that’s equally as ignorant as the American sense of cultural awareness… geographical awareness.

Oh and, I really want to swing by this place for some diner grilled cheese.

source: Paulitic’s blog.

We all live with standards … some of us , well ours are lowered. However, when I read that the British are living better than me, I start questioning if I picked the right Western country to have sought political asylum years ago.

For the first time in more than 100 years, British living standards have risen above those of Americans, a report has declared.

Increasing incomes, longer holidays and “free” healthcare have all contributed to making Britons better off than our friends across the Atlantic, according to the respected Oxford Economics consultancy.

The feel-rich factor is calculated using the gross domestic product (GDP) per citizen - an indicator of average incomes - which in Britain will be £23,500 this year, compared with £23,250 in America, it predicts.

The full story can be found here. And the best part has to be this photo used as the visual anchor for the article.

With the bit below reading:

They may have left the UK but the Beckhams could be enjoying a higher standard of living than their friends Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes if they stayed in Britain ?

Seriously, was that a journalistic question? Because filthy rich translates to “filthy rich” in almost any country.