.: culture : mash :.

“So, where are you from?”

This is one of the most annoying questions to me. Not because the idea is annoying, but to me it just can mean so much.

Lately I’ve been saying the West Side. But people want to know more than that. If I tell them I’m American, I don’t think I quite give them the impression I descended from the Mayflower crazies.

“I’m Persian.”

“Persian, now is that the same as Iranian [pronounced I-rain-ian]?”

“Yes, yes it is.”
Please don’t pronounce it like it’s from the Elemental Chart, I know where that’s coming from (wink wink).

I mean, the Persian Empire was huge, shit I think some Germans can theoretically call themselves “Persian” probably, right? And really, who the fuck still says they’re Roman or Gaulois?

“Ahh see, that’ always confused me! So is your mother or father American?”

Nope… all pedigree here. However, I say “dude” a lot because I grew up in Southern California since I was about 10.

“Vous etes de Californie? C’est vachement dangereux non?”

“Oui, de Los Angeles.”

Yes, I’m Californian. And you’re French, and probably FAR more cultured than your silly white American cousins, but you have issues too. And no, for the fifth time, I do NOT carry a gun. Tarantino was a fluke success in your country, get over using him as a cultural control for reference. God damn it though, I love the way you people live, a real great sense of hedonistic lifestyle! You’re my second home away from my other second home.

Why can’t I connect with one single culture exactly? I suppose this is my schtick…

I live in LA, I was born and emigrated from Iran, and to me, my friends are the ambassadors of their individual cultures. Actually, I think we are all these little units of representation from backgrounds I find more and more unique everyday. Last week, I just met another Asian Jew… just think about that!

My intention here is to show (as minimally filtered as I can) the absurdity that is cultures clashing and backgrounds slowly fusing in our world.

Lots of contributors are lined up to help us look into various perspectives and backgrounds. Also expect lots of great art parody work done through my collaboration with Arash, who has kindly produced the art work shown :).

And by the way, you’re not left out if you’re “white” (or EuroMut as I prefer to call it). You know you have your own tales of culture clashing and warped perceptions. Some of which I find particularly more fascinating because of its lack of exposure in our everyday.

So with that, let’s get it on, hopefully I won’t piss off friends or family. Total strangers I’m sure I’ll annoy, but we’ll work with baby steps.
Beyond that, I have no clue what the fuck I’m doing. Stay tuned!

here’s some reject art that was supposed to be on this site:

PS: Many, many thanks to my dear friend Michel for helping this putz with getting this site up.